Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Welcom to Heaven: NO PETS

So, Christians, when you are saved and go on to live in heaven for an eternity of happiness, what's going to become of your loyal companions back on Earth? Are you going to abandon your pets and leave them to die? Fear not, God-fearers!

This is a website for an organization called Eternal Earth-Bound Pets, USA. The purpose of the group is to house and care for the pets of those who are saved during The Rapture. Apparently around 50% of the population of the United States believe that The Rapture will occur and all Christians will be taken away to heaven, leaving only their pets and the rest of us sinners.

Not a problem. For a small fee, one of the athiests enlisted at EEBP will take care of your furry friend while you're enjoying eternal bliss, or 28 virgins, or whatever it is they do in heaven. I think it's a pretty noble cause, and besides, you don't need your money while you're in heaven. Except on Sundays, God collects on Sundays.

Eternal Earth-Bound Pets

Take a look at the terms and conditions. I really hope there have been some people signing up for this...

Also, I feel a little disappointed in some of the literature I was lead to believe as a child:

1 comment:

  1. I don't appreciate being made teary-eyed. No more pictures of Fry's dog.